Welcome to the April 2013 Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival: Peaceful Parenting Applied
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Authentic” Parenting Blog Carnival hosted by Authentic” Parenting and Living” Peacefully with Children. This month our participants have written about authenticity through self-expression. We hope you enjoy this month’s posts and consider joining us next month when we share about Peaceful Parenting Applied.
Being a homeschooling Mom is difficult – especially when you have a slightly challenging child. He’s not bad by any means. He’s a very sweet boy with a very very very good heart. He is a little attention challenged – I would say. I don’t admit this often, and I would never tell him because I don’t want him to feel that he is different or bad or challenging. It has gotten a lot better. He is a champ – and with us just working with it – he has improved greatly.
I am very proud of him.
I noticed he had some challenges when I first started homeschooling him in Kindergarten. I didn’t talk to the pediatrician. I didn’t want him to undergo unnecessary and exhausting testing. I didn’t want to medicate him. I wanted to figure out how we could work through it together.
It’s been a learning experience that has required a lot of patience on both of our parts, but it certainly has been exciting to see him blossom into a beautiful young man.
However, there have been times…let me tell you.
I have made many mistakes. I have learned, grown and want to share with you some of the things that have worked for me in getting him interested and loving school, involved with his education, and confident in himself and his abilities.
- Praise. I give him constant praise for everything – even if he comes up with the wrong answer. I stay positive, we work through the process, to see where he has made his mistake, and then I praise him for trying. I tell him that we don’t always get things 100% right, but if we know the process, 9/10 times, we will come up with the correct answer. The process is what’s important. I also tell him that I am very proud that he tried so hard, concentrated so hard and worked so hard (which is very true). I hug him and kiss him and make him feel loved and supported. It’s important that everything is true and comes from the heart.
- Being tuned into your own children – and allowing yourself to be taught when necessary. My kids teach me all the time. An example – My son will often get into moods where he will look glassed eyed – off into never -never land. When you look at him, it seems as if he’s not listening – and totally tuning you out. It’s quite frustrating. Well, he is listening – he was getting it. This was an important lesson that I had to learn. It’s part of his personality.
- Set definite boundaries. Having a set of rules that everybody follows is important. Everybody knows the rules, and the consequences of breaking those rules. You must follow through with the consequence. With my kids, time out work very well. They hate getting time outs because they are such busy bodies and want to be into everything. Sitting in another room and listening to everybody playing is a punishment. Another one that works very well for my kids is no electronics for a certain period of time. It works wonders. Of course, you have to find things that work for your children – and realize that what works one day, might not work another. I have a list. 🙂
- Finding a curriculum that works. This isn’t really an option if your child goes to public or private school . I found curriculum that presents the same topic 3 or 4 times – sometimes in different ways. If he doesn’t get it the first time around, there are ample opportunities – as it will come around again. It helps him and me. Him – it builds confidence. Me- it helps me to calm down and know that just because he’s not understanding right here and now, that it’s coming around again. Eventually, he will get it. Always by the end he understands the concept (when presented alone).
- Stepping back and taking a break. When things get too frustrating, sometimes you just need to take break – and go outside for some air, or go to the park, or end the school day. Negativity will impede the learning process.
These are just 5 tools that have helped me to not only teach my kids in a positive and productive manner. It helps to keep a safe space for everyone to prosper and grow.
I would love to hear your ideas. What tools have you employed to keep things safe between you and your children?
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
- Dealing with Whining Compassionately – Mandy at Living” Peacefully with Children discusses ways to deal with whining when it is getting on your nerves.
- Peaceful Parenting in the Light of Big Emotions
Laura from Authentic Parenting wonders how to resist being swept away from the storm of emotions in a sensitive child.
- How a peaceful parent speaks -Will the truth set you free?
Shonnie at Heart-Led Parenting tells how being truthful (and more) in the way she talks to and about her daughter has helped create more peace and joy in her home.
- To Sleep, Perchance to Sleep – Mercedes at Project Procrastinot expounds on the difficulties of sleeping when you’ve got new twins by your side.
- Hitting and Peaceful Parenting – Susan May at Together Walking writes about her son’s recent “hitting phase” and how they were able to navigate it without punishing him.
- Peaceful parenting in action: the importance of realistic expectations – Tat from Mum in search shares a few examples of how knowing what to expect from your children can make your day a whole lot more enjoyable.
- Success Through Encouragement – At The Squishable Baby, Lisa discusses how she helps her child be successful through encouragement.