My Path to Forgiveness

Today, being Good Friday, I want to talk a bit about forgiveness.  Even though I have tried really really hard, there are certain things it’s hard for me to forgive.  I have talked forgiveness before – here.  I have had to forgive when I wrote this post, and I still have to forgive the same person now.  Most likely, I will have to forgive the same person next year, and probably 7 years down the road.

This is how much I have struggled with this one thing in particular.

I typically don’t struggle with forgiveness.  Actually it’s pretty easy – depending upon the situation and people involved.  I can and have forgiven the same person multiple times.  I do this because I know it is so bad to hold anger in your heart.  This is what I teach my kids.  Because I firmly believe that that you have to teach by example, I have been extra diligent in trying to forgive this one last person.

But nope – can’t.

I know the following…

  1. The incident happened almost 10 years ago while I was in graduate school.  Haha!
  2. She was and is mentally  – not quite right
  3. She was my best and closest friend – I think that’s what makes the betrayal worse.
  4. I really need to let it go.

And knowing all of this  – I still can’t.  I did try to contact her a few years ago.  I will admit it was half hearted, and when I got her on the phone – she started all the crazy talk – not being able to concentrate on one thing.  Talking all over the place (part of her mental problem).  I just didn’t feel like it.

It took too much energy to even care.

I told her I would call back and never did.

It’s Good Friday.  Mormons don’t really “do” Good Friday.  Typically, Mormons think of Jesus Christ as living – rather than dying and being dead.  So, while we rejoice in Easter (the time of resurrection), and we recognize and believe in Good Friday – it just isn’t a day of festivity and activity.  At least these have been my observations thus far.

My message today isn’t filled with pretty pictures – just a bunch of questions and unresolved feelings.

I know what the Church peeps would tell me.  They would tell me to pray about it – but that’s not working.  I’m not getting any answers.

Maybe I am, but my heart is just not ready to accept the answers that I have been given.

Who knows.

Maybe you can help me?  What are the steps you take on your path to forgiveness?

 

Thanks for the awesome picture!

Lisa
<muscle-up-meals
About Lisa

Hey! Thank you so much for stopping by. I'm Lisa - a homeschool mom of 3 (2 boys and 1 girl). I care about the strength of the family in America, and often blog about babies/kids, natural parenting, homeschool, and marriage. Before you leave, please sign up for my monthly newsletter (on the top right). If you do, you will be well rewarded with notification of all giveaways and sales - which will not be announced on the blog. Google+ Profile

Comments

  1. Some things are really difficult to forgive, and some things just take a long time – maybe even more than a decade. I I also feel that sometimes you can forgive someone, but the thing that they did will still influence how you interact with them.

    Hoping you find some peace this Easter. {hugs}
    maryanne recently posted…Spring Gardening and Landscaping Projects!My Profile

Speak Your Mind

*

CommentLuv badge