Homeschool at The Squishable Baby Link-up – The Proverbial Measuring Stick


The Measuring Stick

My husband and I had an interesting discussion about homeschool and life in general – last night.

He was worried about stereotypes and he didn’t want our kids to fall into those negative images of African Americans that circulate out there in “society”.  He gently referred back into the Imus in The Morning incident – where Imus said some horrendous things about a some basketball team members, who were African American.  I think he said they were nappy headed – which was clearly not true.  If someone doesn’t like you for the color of your skin, they are not going to like you regardless of how much you try to conform, right?  They are going to call you nappy headed regardless of whether or not you have a nappy head.

Me?  I just believe that everyone is fallen.  Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone says things that are not so nice.  After reflecting, if you say sorry and mean it – and learn from it – and never ever repeat the mistake – it’s cool.

Everybody move on.

The Church has helped me a lot in this.  I have come a very long way.

With him, it’s a national disaster and an insult to his very being.  He is emotionally scarred for life.

Two different people…two different ways of looking at things.

That’s cool, I get that.


We have to let our kids be kids.  They are stupendously great kids – really!  They are really great – but they are not perfect – as they shouldn’t be.  We are not perfect parents.  Why should imperfect people expect others to be perfect?  Whether they are or aren’t our kids?

It doesn’t make sense, right?

The reason I bring this up – is that sometimes I feel that there is disappointment brewing – because they are not perfect.  In striving to make them so – making a huge effort so they do not fit into the worldly stereotypes – their imperfections are enhanced – in the mind.

Not sure that makes sense.

You know, I have this uncanny ability to not care what other people think.  It just doesn’t phase me.  He, on the other hand, cares what everybody thinks.  His co-workers and friends, an idiotic radio personality- he needs everybody’s opinion.  It’s important to him.

Two different people…two different ways of looking at things.

I get that.

So, on the subject of homeschooling – his worldly circle doesn’t agree.  The schools are fine.  My child got a 6 figure salary right out of college… the schools are perfect.

Yeah – okay – if that’s how you measure success – and a good education. 1 out of 100,000 made it to the “big time” salary.  Not great odds.

His next question.  How can you tell if you are doing the right thing?

In my opinion, that was a very insightful question – that I don’t think anyone knows the correct answer.

I simply said, you have to feel it in your heart.  It’s the “Still Small Voice” That testifies of truth.  That’s how you know.

He then says – well how do you know if they measure up.

Ahhh, he threw the proverbial schtick my way.

I took that stick and broke it over my leg.  There are no measurements here!

My argument – that we – as the people that born them and love them first and foremost – it is our responsibility to raise confident and caring citizens.  Ridicule – will only breed unhappy and under confident adults who  will under perform in everything they do – and spend countless numbers of hours and money in therapy.  You want successful children – you need to encourage them, love them, make them confident and self assured people regardless of whether they are fat, smart, creative, plumbers, concert violinists, artists, tall, short, black or white, or whatever.

We should strive to seek out their talents, and the things that they love – and  foster and encourage those ambitions with all of our hearts.  Whatever they are – even if they are not living up to what you think they should be or how they should look.

In my mind, success is not measured in digits, corporate ladders, dollar signs or acronyms.  Success as measured in my mind are children who are not broken, who are confident being the only woman with a huge afro, being confident inside their brown skin, being confident out preforming everyone else, being confident about being themselves, being confident about being a Mother and staying at home,  or whatever.  Success is loving who you are, knowing what you want – and going for it.  When you are successful, you are self assured, driven, self confident, beautiful (no matter how you look on the outside), nice, respectful, encouraged and encouraging, and Lovable.  Successful people – in my mind- smile a lot, are happy with themselves – and can recognize the weakness in others and themselves.  Successful people are empathetic, charitable, loving, giving, accepting, and forgiving.

These are the qualities that I want my children to have.  If I raise them and they a have these qualities – end the end, I would think that I had done a very fine job.

So, how do your kids measure up?


 Home school Link Up

I love learning about new ideas, thoughts and practices.  Link up your homeschool posts – old and new!  I will pin them to my Homeschool link up Pinterest Board.  I share the board with my fellow Homeschool Blog Carnival Participants.

About Lisa

Hey! Thank you so much for stopping by. I'm Lisa - a homeschool mom of 3 (2 boys and 1 girl). I care about the strength of the family in America, and often blog about babies/kids, natural parenting, homeschool, and marriage. Before you leave, please sign up for my monthly newsletter (on the top right). If you do, you will be well rewarded with notification of all giveaways and sales - which will not be announced on the blog. Google+ Profile


  1. Lisa, a great post. I’ve been having home school talks with my husband too. The simple truth is that there are some schools better than others, they aren’t created equal. A public school works for the government, and serves their agenda. A private school is a business. There are some great schools out there. I just have a hard time believing that their educational needs, strengths, and weaknesses will be catered to in a classroom with 20 kids- like they can be at home.

  2. I totally agree with everything in your post. Wonderfully put! You, my dear, are an awesome parent. As I am sure your husband is as well. I feel I am blessed in not caring what others think. I only care what my heavenly Father thinks and that will always be enough. Both of my children homeschool their children and sometimes worry about the stereotypes of “homeschooled” children. Then, thankfully, they get over it and move on. 😉 Have you ever seen the videos of the Tim Hawkins (homeschooling) family? They are hilarious! I especially love the Addams Family Spoof.

  3. Beautiful post Lisa – “Success is loving who you are, knowing what you want – and going for it.” – Yes!!!
    Mud Hut Mama recently posted…Composting in the Suburbs: An Odor Free Composting BinMy Profile

  4. Yes, great post!
    I completely agree with your measures!!!
    My kids are naturally curious and eager to learn and I just want their education to not squash that!
    I hope they are the ones who set good examples out in the world.
    Also confident, happy, productive… all the things you can’t measure with tests or salaries, YES!!!
    Ann recently posted…Fog ArtMy Profile

    • You just spoke a mountain of words. I love what you said :my kids are natually curious and eager to learn and I just want their education to not squash that”.


      Actually, I had the same sentiments. Hadyn is very kind hearted and loving. I was afraid that the educational system would squash that. I didn’t want him to loose that quality!

      Thanks so much for your comment! I hope you are having a restful sleep.
      Lisa recently posted…Homeschool at The Squishable Baby Link-up – The Proverbial Measuring StickMy Profile

  5. I agree! Great post and wonderfully written. That is one of the hardest lessons that I am learning ~ not to measure my kids by other people’s standards. It is difficult but necessary! Great reminder and thanks for the link up!

  6. WOW! What a powerful post and an important issue at the same time.

    “Successful people – in my mind- smile a lot, are happy with themselves – and can recognize the weakness in others and themselves. Successful people are empathetic, charitable, loving, giving, accepting, and forgiving”. So true! And success starts with eduction an exposing children to different things early.

    Maria recently posted…What a Wonderful…Opportunity to Learn Literacy and Diversity Through Music!My Profile

Speak Your Mind


CommentLuv badge