Words of comfort

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Children are great imitators, so give them something great to imitate

~Anonymous

I have been thinking a lot about what is going on in this world – and also thinking about the way we treat and raise our children.

I suppose the impetus of this thought was when I read a post by Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children.  She said something that really spoke to me.  She said

I’m sad to say. In a society where we speak out against the hitting of women, against the hitting of racial minorities, against the hitting of animals, against the hitting and bullying of anyone, there are still a large number of people who think hitting children is perfectly acceptable or even necessary. It boggles my mind.

Hitting Out of Fear

It makes you think, right?

I have always been against hitting.  It didn’t really make sense to me.  You say you are doing it out of love – but hitting is not a sign of love.  It’s a sign of fear and a sign of hate.

I say this not because it made me think about hitting – and feel sorry for the kids and parents who have to endure it- but, more importantly – the more prevalent tongue lashing that children endure on a daily basis.  It made me step back and think about the words I use.  It made me think of how I can make my verbiage more peaceful and kind – and the positive effects that can have on my children.

On Mandy’s advice, I picked up a book from the library…

cover

It’s super!  I am learning so much about children – and the consequences of my actions.

It’s really easy to comfort a child who has hurt him/herself, or was hurt by a friend, or hit by a ball.  But how does one comfort when he/she is hurt emotionally by a parent?  How do you do that?

Here are a few words I use to comfort my children.

  1. I made a mistake
  2. I didn’t mean to talk to you like that.  That was inappropriate.
  3. It’s okay.
  4. It’s okay to make a mistake.  I make mistakes.
  5. I’m sorry.

My husband says that most difficult words to say in the English language is “I’m sorry”.

That shouldn’t be.  Parents are not perfect.  We make mistakes – and when we do – we should apologize.

I think it’s so important to keep learning and growing.  As a country, we have to do better by our children.  Things have to change.  Learning and incorporating other methods of dealing with our children – I think is a really great start.

The quote I wrote above is true.  We lead by example.  If we want our kids to be better, we have to be better.

What words comfort your children?  How do you maintain peace in harmony in your children’s lives?

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NaBloPoMo_052013_465x287_COMFORT_0

This post is part of the NaBloPoMo challenge.  This month – the theme is Comfort.

Lisa
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About Lisa

Hey! Thank you so much for stopping by. I'm Lisa - a homeschool mom of 3 (2 boys and 1 girl). I care about the strength of the family in America, and often blog about babies/kids, natural parenting, homeschool, and marriage. Before you leave, please sign up for my monthly newsletter (on the top right). If you do, you will be well rewarded with notification of all giveaways and sales - which will not be announced on the blog. Google+ Profile

Comments

  1. Thank you for writing this. Saying “I’m Sorry” is a very hard thing to say, but if we start from the beginning, as in day 1 of our child’s life (and let’s be honest, for the first few months there will be a LOT of “I’m Sorry” moments) then it will become part of what we do as parents. So often parents choose this route late in the game after seeing that harsh punishments don’t work and have such a hard time morphing their behavior and parenting style. I hope this reaches many new parents and parents-to-be!

    • Hey Olivia,

      Yes you are absolutely correct! It does start on day one. My son is 9 months, and I still say sorry to him at least 5 times a day!

      You are right. Especially if they are doing what their parents did. It is so hard to change, or even to admit that what you are doing is wrong, or isn’t working.

      Thank you so much for your comments and also for stopping by! I hope you have a great week.
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