What Does Daddy Think?

 
Does it matter what dad thinks when thinking about changing your body?

Well…I don’t know.  I never asked him.

Does your husband’s opinion about you determine your fitness routine or lack of a routine?

Personally speaking, I have thought – I don’t need to work on my body because my husband is fine with it.  But when I thought again.  Does it matter what he thinks of my body?

What I later realized that I have to live within my body.  He married me.  How he sees me isn’t nearly as important as how I see myself. What matters is what I think of my body, how it makes me feel, and how I see myself when I look in the mirror.

I am assuming that he has his own body that he can make decisions about, yes?  Does he come to you and ask…. “I know you love how I look with this beard, but it makes my skin itch 24 hours a day.  What do you think?  Should I shave it off?”

I don’t know about you, but my response would be, why are you asking me?  It’s your face.

So then it didn’t really make sense why seek his approval as whether he thinks I should workout or not.  Right?  I should be the one who is happy – whatever it is.

It was silly to give him that kind of power.  It’s my decision.  It’s my body and I should be the one who is happy – whatever it is.

 

So you Ask Anyway…

There are 3 possibilities.

  1. He doesn’t really care.  He married you for you – and if you grow to be 750 lbs, he loves all that fat.  He loves him some big mama.  This, of course, is the ideal situation (not that you grow to 750 lbs, but that he loves you unconditionally).
  2. He’s a liar, but doesn’t want to ruin his marriage or to hurt you.  This is a smart man.  He says he loves you no matter what, but he would prefer something different (in secret).  He tolerates it because love is give-and-take.  As you can imagine, calling your wife a big fat ton of lard isn’t really good for a marriage.
  3. He’s stupid, calls you a big fat ton of lard – hopes that you will change for him but will deal with the fallout.

 

What do you Do with the Information?

There are many possibilities.  But the point of this post is, why ask in the first place?  The first two possibilities are of course, ideal – and you don’t really know if he’s being honest.  The third one, call a divorce lawyer, a therapist, or maybe both.

If you are unhappy with the way things are going, or the way you look – change it.  If not, leave it.

It’s so simple, right?

It doesn’t matter what he thinks.  It’s your life, it’s your body and you are the one who has to live it (in the presence or absence of him).

 

Why are you doing this?

My hubby asked me this very question.

For me.  I don’t want to be a “big mama”.  I want my body to be more toned.  I want to have more energy.  I want to be thinner.  I want to feel better.  I want to have a lower blood pressure.  These things will help to make my life better and make me happier.

It never really occurred to me that he would want me to be anything but the happiest I could be.  That’s why I never asked his permission.

 

What makes you happy?
 

Lisa
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About Lisa

Hey! Thank you so much for stopping by. I'm Lisa - a homeschool mom of 3 (2 boys and 1 girl). I care about the strength of the family in America, and often blog about babies/kids, natural parenting, homeschool, and marriage. Before you leave, please sign up for my monthly newsletter (on the top right). If you do, you will be well rewarded with notification of all giveaways and sales - which will not be announced on the blog. Google+ Profile

Comments

  1. Thank you so much for sharing your story, Lisa. This is a really great internal conversation that we all need to have (and sometimes, it can be really hard & painful). You are an inspiration!!
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  2. My husband is supportive of my exercise but he probably prefer that I not spar in the ring because he thinks it is a little nuts and worries that I’ll get hurt. But he’s happy that I found a sport that I like.
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