To Grayson With Love

The Realities of Breastfeeding

My little itty bitty baby.  I cannot believe that it’s been a year.  What a year we have had together.  Actually, more like two years – if we count the adventures we had while you were in the womb.

We really have been though a lot together.  Partners in crime – so to speak.  We have been through the good, the bad, and the ugly – many of the experiences you will never know.  Not to rehash all the bad stuff, but I feel our experiences – even the negative ones – create the person that we become.  Your Grammy died very early after we knew about you.  I know she loves you and wishes she could hold you.  Soon after that, we experienced Placenta Previa – with  bleed at 13 weeks.  Then 14 weeks later, we didn’t have Placenta Previa (thank goodness).  Then you were breech, and despite my attempts at moxibustion, hanging upside down and putting ice packs on your head, Craniosacral Message, we were left  planning for a breech birth at home.  Then, in the 11th hour, you decided to turn.  You also weighed heavily on my body.  Pieces of plug and gunk were coming out slowly the week before your birth.  Interesting.  Labor with no drugs with you at a bit over 10 lbs was – interesting to say the least.

Still feeling the effects of that (can I say chiropractor?).

You are the quintessential 3rd child.  Everything about you was and is different.  My pregnancy was different.  My pain and discomfort was different.  My labor and delivery was definitely odd.  I shouldn’t have been surprised that our breastfeeding relationship was a bit rocky.  It was sort of par for the course.


Mom and dad with Gray - brand


You were born with a tongue tie.  The midwife informed me while I was in the shower after your birth.  She said, get it cut right away – and soon after I knew why.


So, to the Ears Nose and Throat Doctor we went.  He got me in right away and stayed late to snip-snip.  Sorry bout that little guy.  I wouldn’t cut your pee-pee but the tie had to be cut to save our nursing relationship.  You weren’t transferring milk – and my nip wasn’t doing so hot.  Things needed to change.

For the few days that you actually latched, it felt much better.  You were drinking milk again and all was good.

Until that Friday…

When you stopped latching…

It was a frustrating weekend for both of us.  It was spent with me desperately trying to get you to latch for hours.  We both had some more learning to do.  With pumping, and supplementing with just 1 oz of milk – to keep you from getting too hungry – we did it!  You were latching like a champ by Monday.  No more latching problems.

Then came the milk transfer problems.  You weren’t sucking like you should and sleeping a bit too much.  While you were having enough poo and pee diapers, I knew something wasn’t right.  I brought you to the doctor for a weight check – and my suspicion was confirmed.  I was not going to supplement with formula.  More learning and growing had to be done – and an intense relationship with the Medela Pump in Style (which I bought 8 years prior).

Breast Pump

The Lactation Consultant was called.  What I didn’t know then was the ENT didn’t fully cut the tongue tie.  He was conservative.  He was surprised because I was the first of his patients to come back.  He said it works for most babies.  Does it, I questioned?  Maybe nobody has ever come back.  Maybe they give up.  Me, I come back.   To me, it’s worth it.

Sorry little guy.  We had to snip again – and this was the last time – as the ENT wouldn’t do it again.  I wouldn’t do it again either.

After that last snip – it’s been beautiful.  You started transferring milk at a rapid clip.  We were back in breastfeeding heaven!


Finally, we are good – until we weren’t.  About 7 months we found out you were in the 6th percentile in weight.  What?  All my other kids were big, fat and robust.  You are a peanut.  Why?

More learning…more learning…more learning – mostly on my part this time.  Seems like your body needed more food.  You had enough pee and poo diapers, but your body was telling us it needed something more than milk.  When I started feeding you solids, you went through at least 5 growth spurts in a little over 2 months.  You became more bulky.  Although you are still a light weight, you are healthy and happy.  You became more alert and alive.  You began standing and walking soon after.

It was all a learning process on how to breastfeed you the way you need.  I had to learn how to feed you.  I really hope you weren’t too hungry.  I tried to stay on top of it and watch closely for changes.

I am lucky to be your Mom.  I’m lucky to have all 3 of you.  Thank you for being so patient while I worked out the details.  I really appreciate it.  You never complained.  You always remained happy – even when you were hungry.

The 3 kdis

It’s been a solid year now.  you are eating.  You are enjoying your milk at the breast – which  I hope continues for another few years.  If not, it’s cool.  I will continue to look for clues and follow your lead with whatever you want to do.

I am looking forward to our next learning adventure together – because I have a feeling, there will be many.


I love you,



About Lisa

Hey! Thank you so much for stopping by. I'm Lisa - a homeschool mom of 3 (2 boys and 1 girl). I care about the strength of the family in America, and often blog about babies/kids, natural parenting, homeschool, and marriage. Before you leave, please sign up for my monthly newsletter (on the top right). If you do, you will be well rewarded with notification of all giveaways and sales - which will not be announced on the blog. Google+ Profile


  1. No drugs..that’s gangster status! Good job for staying true to your plan…even when it was hard! (Very hard.)
    Amy mayen recently posted…Faux Resin Bottle CapsMy Profile

    • I remember saying – please check me – begging – to just know how far along I was. I never went into a true transition – where the contractions get really close together. From the beginning, the contractions were really long and really hard.

      It was like – ugh.

      Plus the little booger wouldn’t come down. I had to stand and rock a lot – and sit on the dreaded toilet. UGH. This sounds like another blog post.

      Thanks for stopping by Amy! Luv you much!
      Lisa recently posted…Happiness Can Set You FreeMy Profile

  2. Happy 1st Birthday Grayson! As for mommy, 10lbs?! YOU GO GIRL!
    Tati recently posted…Bouts of Breastfeeding ChallengesMy Profile

    • How can i be old enough? Yeah, Dad is ancient, but I’m still young and hip! Funny how that happens, isn’t it?

      He was a biggum – and also very long at almost 24 inches. yep. Also, I think he was oddly positioned – causing the odd labor. For instance, I was in transition, but there were no signs of transition. The contractions didn’t get closer together. It just stayed the same really super strong hard contractions that I had from the beginning.
      Lisa recently posted…Happiness Can Set You FreeMy Profile

  3. What an incredible story of perseverance! Happy birthday Grayson – you have a pretty incredible Mama. Love that photo of your kids – how did your get all three to look at the camera at the same time?
    Jody recently posted…DIY Homeschool: Pre-K Curriculum GuidelinesMy Profile

    • Hey Mama!

      I cannot believe I’m old enough to have a 1 year old, 5 year old and a 9 year old. Where did all the time go?


      Ahhh, multiple pictures. Haha! I have multiple pictures – and that was one where they all were looking at the same time. Most of them, Ava and Hadyn were looking at Grayson. Ahhh, the joys of kids.

      Thanks so much for stopping by Mama!
      Lisa recently posted…Happiness Can Set You FreeMy Profile

  4. Cute kids! Look at that dimple on your little girl! She looks like a sassy little thing. haha Thanks for sharing this! 🙂

Speak Your Mind


CommentLuv badge